Dorset, Upton Farm Cottages

Very, very nice,friendly owners and very stylish accomodation. Quiet but close to decent pubs, and handy for Weymouth and Poole. Will go back for sure!

We have just returned from Upton Farm Cottages and stayed in Rattys retreat and we strongly disagree with nearly everthing said in the previous reviews, the owners were very welcoming, the cottage was very clean with crisp bed linen and luxury bath towels etc,perhaps the only mild critism was that the old settee was a bit uncomfortable. With deer visiting every morning and plenty of wildlife all around we thought the location near perfect.

With so much to see and do in the area a week is hardly enough, to top it all the Smugglers Arms is less than a 30 minute walk across the meadow, with decent food and stunning sea views.

On arrival a lady came out to us and straight away appeared to be laying down the law. We were in a party of 7, in two adjacent cottages, but she said we couldn't even get together in one cottage to share a meal. Family arrived on Sunday (4 people) and upon arrival, she told us we would have to go to the pub and couldn't cook on the barbecue we had provided at our own expense.

After this experience we decided to spend as little time as possible at the accommodation. We thought the cottages seemed uncomfortable, dirty and damp. I strongly do not recommend this location.

Customer service was poor and some staff did not make us welcome at all, laying out rules right from the start (a smile would have been nice!) Upon arrival the accommodation was clearly not cleaned not a welcoming sight. We were told that the cottage needed to be cleaned on departure and if we did not want to clean the cottage we would be charged £60. We had to leave a £100 deposit when we arrived.

The grill in the oven did not work. The television had very bad reception and constant lines across the screen. There was no shower, only a bath that took an age to fill. There was no Iron in the cottage. There was no house keeping at all, despite there being several references to this in the brochure. There is a continuous what appears to be musky, damp smell in the cottage that kindly stays with you for the duration of your stay. The curtains in the cottage were extremely thin and did not keep the sunlight out at all. The walls are very thin and you can hear everything in the room next door. The brochure states this is a five star accommodation. I struggle to see how this accommodation can be awarded the five star standard; a three star at best would be a generous rating.

The cottage is not within walking distance of anything and surrounded by steep hills. The Beach, shops, restaurants etc are all a good car journey away.

We have family in Dorset and four of them came to visit us at the cottage one evening. They was at the cottage for about five minutes when we were swiftly told that no one is allowed on the premises who is not staying at the cottage and they had to leave immediately.

Upon departure we were charged £55 for electricity etc and only received £45 of our deposit back. There is no reference to this additional charge in the brochure or that we would need to clean the accommodation on departure.

The welcome at Upton Farm Cottages in Dorset was poor. There were white laminated rules plastered all over the cottage that made you feel unwelcome and like a 4 year old. Fake Antiques, such as the "double sided" 100 year old and hand painted rug under the dining table, and the Hand painted Mohair drapes (printed the same as the curtains). They were said to be the main feature of the cottage, along with the very old settee which had been re-furnished (probably around 1960), and it left us very uncomfortable for the week. The hidden charges for fuel and electricity also left a sour taste. The hot water for showers wasn't available on the first day. And at the end of the week they didn't even check the cottage, which could quite easily have been wrecked!

The coastal path mentioned in the brochure is over 2 miles away. I should know, as my pregnant wife walked it thinking it wouldn't be far. When they say 20 minutes to the beach they mean by Helicopter (which incidentally didn't make an appearance). Oh, and did you know that Thomas Hardy's Grandmothers Bed is in the nursery? Even if this is a fact, it's the last place I'd want to put it. My son Adam (2) wasn't very comfortable in the room and he woke screaming every night. He isn't teething and has stayed in lots of different place in his first 2 years, having been to Canada, Grand Canaria, Turkey and camping on lots of occasions.

It would be the perfect holiday for someone who wants a base and who wants to live their dream of being surrounded by Antiques and being very rich.

You must own a car to get about, as the nearest shop isn't 2 minutes down the road! Not even by car!