This is truely awful. Although I should be honest and confess that I only saw the first half - so if the second half achieves the unique distinction of being fabulous despite a spectacularly awful first half then I owe all involved an abject apology. Given that this seems very unlikely, I will plough on and warn you to avoid this at all costs. Seriously, if it's watching this film or sticking needles in your eyes, you know what to do....