Virgin Riverside Chiswick

So you spend the £500 joining fee and then anything from £260 per month membership, so you think OK this'll be a cut above, but you'd be wrong, unless you like tennis, the tennis facilities are great. The gym section is as equipped as any other standard gym no more no less, but there is hardly anyone ever there, just some very weak people doing curls whilst staring out the window blankly, similar to a mental ward. The aerobics classes are also always empty and are very limited in times and choice, the poor instructors really have to work hard to get energy out of a big room with three bored housewife’s who'd rather be sitting downstairs drinking wine.

Occasionally you'll see a nano celeb or even a micro one, the staff think that's part of Chiswick Riversides 'exclusivity', they make a big deal about prices keeping the gym 'exclusive'. Hhhhm then how was it that two weeks ago two 18 year old Raggas with their pants down below their backsides were in the gym changing room (and these guys are regulars), their conversation went something like this.
ragga #1 "like ya na beed (you know what I mean), dat gyal (that girl) was spo'in me big ty (was looking at me big time)
They punched each others fists in the air and chuckled whilst they broke out a packet of friutellas and some ribena
Ragga#2 'yeah init man, das right, easy same speed (I don’t' have a translation I didn't understand)
So there you go, there's your 'exclusivity'
Oh and the wet area, it's like a scene from Cocoon, no one under 70 and absolutely no one with a gym type body, all saggy baggy and pale.
In the dining area women sit around at 3 in the afternoon whilst their kids run around aimlessly, they all look the same, hard faces because they have lost too much body fat (through starvation, the unhealthy look) and all look slightly like Jimmy Saville, they also have dieted away their backsides but strangely seem very proud of the absence of it. I’m sure one wife could go home to another’s husband and he wouldn’t notice.
It is very ironic that a Gym that costs so much and self proclaims to be some sort of high flyers social club, actually instead leaves one with the same feeling you would get when looking at an impoverished establishment such as an abuse clinic or the like, as no one seems very happy or content or indeed in shape, it's a very sad place, as, it seems to be in denial, it's not what it thinks it is, but it's made up of clients who aren't what they think they are either, so it's a self perpetuating phenomenon, the gym tells them what they want to be, and they in turn tell the gym, I hope one day a huge psychiatrist’s couch is built so that the Esporta Riverside and its clients can sit on it whilst being analyzed, or even anal-ised for that matter that would probably work even better.