Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

After a run of flops from the expensive rack at Blockbusters I finally rented something I enjoyed this week. When I heard Guillermo Del Torro was to direct the Hell Boy sequel I was quite surprised and quietly excited, his magical and visually stunning style of direction an interesting choice for comic book territory. But he did and thank heavens for that, this a real belter, only Iron Man coming near the quality of this since the Spiderman trilogy. Yep, Del Torro does borrow heavily here from other movies, recent and not so recent, everything from The Mummy to Star Wars dabbled in here, the green monster knocking the top off the Manhattan skyscrapers like a tea spoon cracking a boiled egg a particularly blatant Cloverfield rip off. But that aside his use of humour throughout and his excellent sense of scene setting is excuse enough to let him get away with that and because he soon involves you in the story and with the characters you don't really care and just settle into the rhythm of it and enjoy. A good film maker creates dreams not cynicism.

-The Cast-

Ron Perlman ... Hellboy

Selma Blair ... Liz Sherman

Doug Jones ... Abe Sapien / The Chamberlain / The Angel of Death

John Alexander ... Johann Krauss

James Dodd ... Johann Krauss

Jeffrey Tambor ... Tom Manning

Luke Goss ... Prince Nuada

Anna Walton ... Princess Nuala

Seth MacFarlane ... Johann Krauss (voice)

John Hurt ... Professor Trevor 'Broom' Bruttenholm

Brian Steele ... Mr. Wink / Cronie Troll / Cathedral Head

-The Plot-

After some early scene setting of when Hell Boy was just a kid and hidden away for his own good under the fatherly protection of Professor Bruttenholm (John Hurt), who would read him fairytales of mythical worlds to try and soften the blow of a life long isolation he may well face, we then flash forward to the present day, HellBoy and the other freaks and mutants still contained in a Men In Black style secret complex under New York City, the one Moulder and Scully never knew about, working for the government to keep their anonymity and so protect them from the public and vice versa. Some of the mutants, X-Men style, have decided to help the humans fight their enemies, swanky costumes to boot, moving between the shadows by night, unseen. But HellBoy (Ron Pearlman) is bombastic and grumpy, a locker full of beer and cigars feeding his moods, feeling he's not getting enough credit for his heroics and so wants to be with the humans on street level and so earn their acclaim, increasingly exposing himself to that public in the newspapers and on youtube, much to the annoyance of the station chief Manning (Jeffery Tambor). He's also broody with his girlfriend, Liz Sherman, the human fireball (Selma Blair), the two arguing over everything, including melted toothbrushes!

The days of being hidden away will soon be over for Hellboy, though, when Prince Nuada (Luke Goss) rolls into town swooshing his sword, returning from the now not so mythical underworld that HellBoy learnt about as a kid, here to reclaim the pieces of his kingdoms crown, one such segment being auctioned at Christies. Many moons ago an alliance was struck between the humans, the Trolls and the Elfin, not to wage brutal war on earth anymore, the royal crown broken into three pieces and given to each leader to reinforce that treaty. But whoever holds the three pieces at the same time has the supreme power of unleashing the Golden Army, an immortal force of mechanical robots that only answer to the owner of the completed crown, and so the power to overrun the other two empires. With two of the three pieces quickly in Nuadas possession it leaves just one bit, his twin sister, Princess Nuala (Anna Walton), the carrier. But even with the last piece first he still has to find the location of the army.

It seems only Hellboy can stop Nuada now and with the help of new station chief Professor Kraus (John Alexander/voice-Seth McFarlane) and scaly mutant 'Abe' (Doug Jones) and some good Cuban cigars and backchat, they are soon on Nuadas tail as they all close in on the secret location of the Golden Army..

-The Conclusion-

As I say Del Torro is a magpie here and doesn't really care what movies he begs and borrows from, as long as the film is exciting and entertains, which this clearly does. If I was you and you haven't seen the Dark Knight I would forget that and rent this and Iron Man first, two far superior movies.

Abe is clearly C3PO and Princess Nuala, Princess Lea - the narrative all but Star Wars meets The Mummy, Hell Boy playing Brendan Fraser, even the carnivorous Scarab Beatles from that movie appearing here in different form ass the less than friendly tooth fairies. In fact pretty much every scene is nicked from another movie. But however plagiary riddled this is its great fun and ticks all the boxes and hits all the marks an action film for all ages need to, and skilfully too, a deliberate and cleverly engineered distinct lack of blood earning it a 12 rating.

It's funny, imaginative, creative and magical in that Del Torro way and you never feel any scenes are just stuck in there to flog the video game, an always smooth storyline that makes sense and drives you through the two hours. There are some hilarious scenes here; none more so than the drunken sing song between Abe and Hell Boy, the director able to completely flip the movies feel at any point. And what superhero film do you know that would have a line like: "I'm not a baby I'm a tumour!", this film working on many levels, father and son giggling along at the same time. Homer and Bart would love this.

The acting is solid and the dialogue anything but clunky, Luke Goss still not famous under the layers of latex but really rather good as the evil prince, a similar role as he played in Blade 2, also directed by Del Torro. Selma Blair drops neatly into the X-Men style mutant role in Kate Beckensales black leather cat suit and Ron Pearlman was made to play Hellboy, almost chiselled from stone for it, comfortably the ugliest leading man in cinema since the elephant man. My one negative would be the music wasn't quite loud enough in that Raiders of the Lost Ark way John Williams manages. On the whole it's a cracker and a must rent for 2009.

Hellboy: You're in love. Have a beer.

Abe Sapien: Oh, my body's a temple.

Hellboy: Now it's an amusement park

= = = Special Features = = =

-Audio Commentaries-

#1 Director Guillermo Del Torro talks about his movie.

#2 Cast & Crew talk about their experiences on the movie.

-Set Visits-

A rather lazy block of behind the scenes is well worth missing, some guy wandering around the set with a cheap camcorder seemingly fore filling some sort of studio quota on the amount of extras for this disc.

-Directors Notes-

You can press a button during the film on this setting to read the directors notes on the movie at this point.

Elven Prince has had enough of Man and his ruination of the world, so usurps his peace-loving father, declares war, and seeks to re-activate The Golden Army, an unstoppable force of magically-powered giant warriors that almost wiped out humanity in the past (hence the reason they are currently in storage somewhere). It's down to our red-skinned friend and his colleagues to prevent the destruction of the mortal world.

Great cast, great acting, great plot-line, great special effects.

If you liked Hellboy, you'll love this- it's just so much more, and better all round. If you haven't seen Hellboy but like a great fantasy action/adventure film, buy it now.

Great fantasy adventure, took my 12 year old boy, we both loved it! Good CSG, great choreography on the fight scenes. Can you spot the John Landis homage? Just, just, just 20 mins too long. Will get the DVD without a doubt.

Over all a reasonable film best suited for children, perhaps best watching once, but only once. Don't go if you want to watch something amazing, go and watch The Dark Knight again for better value for money and a better array of action.

If you want to escape for 2 hours to a world of fantasy - look no further. Complete tosh but great fun. Witty rollercoaster ride. Step aboard, fasten your seatbelt and enjoy.

(Plus Hellboys girlfriend is so easy on the eye!)