Muriel James & Dorothy Jongeward, Born to Win (25th anniversary edition)

I'm reviewing the 25th anniversary edition, 300 pages.

I'd read a couple of other books on self help and Transactional Analysis (TA) before, including another excellent book by Muriel James (never too late to be happy). Having now read 'Born to win', I can say that I wish I had read this book first as it is far more comprehensive, and the trickier adult ego interactions are better written and less imposing.

The book is a tool for psychological analysis, designed to give you insight into the roles you play. It deals predominantly with the ego states, and leads you through chapters containing clear and concise theories and examples on subjects, before summarising and then offering questions and exercises for you to write down your answers.

Unless you are studying this field, you will invariably buy this book to help you make some changes in your life. The most important thing is that you are prepared to commit some serious time and effort to this book. I can't say it was an enjoyable experience because I had so much 'head stuff' to sort out. That doesn't mean to say it wasn't rewarding or worthwhile by any means, but there are some provisos that come with using a book like this. With many questions to think about and complete, this book takes time to work through. How much time you have and how quickly you approach it, will vary for individuals. However within that time, you must be prepared for your soul searching thoughts to be carried with you into your 'normal life' during the period of using the book. What I'm trying to say is, the book took me about 2 months to work through, and I'd written about 50 pages of A4 when completing the exercises. The provisos are then that you can carry on your life relatively unimpaired by anything that you might have to deal with mentally, while working through the book and exercises, especially with the time considerations I mentioned earlier. Your options are to carry on with the next chapter, which may pose more difficulties, or stop. Either way, there's no escape from any mental unraveling until you can find peace with it, or get to the 'fixes' towards the end of the book. I certainly wouldn't recommend skipping any sections, as the book is well written and achieves what it sets out to do, but I think you need to be aware of the journey.

Having come out the other side so to speak, I feel much clearer about who i am, who i want to be, and how i can go about setting a contract to fulfill everything I want to do. If you are seriously committed to evaluating yourself, this book will walk you through it. The book is tough, but it comes full circle and shows you how to be objective, make better decisions through awareness, and feel driven and free again.

Throw yourself into this book with gusto - see what comes out the other side.