Coastguard, Dover

A very disappointing experience. We arrived at The Coastguard at 1:15pm on a Sunday and asked for a table for 7 people. We were told to come back at 2pm and there would be a table for us. We went for a walk and came back at 2, then waited outside in the January cold for another 20 mins. We were told they were out of a few items and that there wasn't a huge choice for the kids. We were grateful for the heads up and said as long as there were chips, the kids would be fine. We were told - Yes, there were chips. We were allowed to take a table for 4 to get the kids out of the cold and whilst we waited for a big table to finish up. We ordered a round of drinks and moved to the larger table - a 6 seater, so we squeezed an extra chair on the end.

The waitress (and as we found out later, duty manager) came to take our order and when we tried to order chips for the kids, she said they couldn't have chips on their own, only with something from the starter menu (patatas bravas and chips, anyone?). She also told us that we couldn't have 7 seats at the table and that we'd have to split across the two tables... We pointed out that we'd requested a table for 7 right from the start and then she rather rudely said we should have booked! Enough was enough - we decided to leave at that point. The 3 kids (4, 8 & 11) were hungry so we decided to leave our 5 soft drinks and 2 pints of beer. We agreed amongst ourselves that we would be happy to pay for the 5 soft drinks, which had been mostly polished off, but the beers were virtually full pints and nobody was in the mood to neck them.

A big argument ensued whereupon said waitress denied saying we could have a table for 7 and that the kids could have chips. She was as rude as hell. No customer services skills at all, happy to have a slanging match in the middle of the restaurant area in front of other customers, some of whom followed us to the car park to tell us that she'd behaved outrageously. One of the least child-friendly places we've ever been to. They might as well have said: Children Not Welcome! At least that would have been more honest.

NOT TO BE RECOMMENDED.

I will never go back. I waited an hour for fish and chips, experienced staff who did not seem to care and when the food did arrive I thought it was very average. It seemed to me as though the kitchen could not cope with the amount of orders. I suspect that they would not need to care as the place would be packed every weekend due to its location. As for the toilets, well I just hope that it is not a sign of how clean the kitchen is.

Both the bar staff who served us and the man taking the orders seemed ineffective and rude to us. It took 40 minutes to have our order taken after asking twice and being apparently snapped at the second time. We were also told that they had run out of the cod and chips (which looked excellent) and 40 minutes after we had our meals (seemingly poorly cooked steaks and the worst combination of salad any of our party had ever tasted) a man at the neighbouring table was served the fish and chips. When we queried this we were told that it wasn't the guy who took the order's fault and that the chefs had taken some from the dinner menu.

We went for my friend's birthday and whilst the seating area outside was nice (mainly due to the weather) the view was only of a crowded car park and the food, staff and queues at the bar made it a very memorable day for all the wrong reasons.

After waiting nearly an hour to get served by a very annoyed waiter, who seem to do a lot of running around, but not actually serving anyone, after asking him again if he would take our order, we eventual ordered food. Why did we bother ... first time I have ever had steak, with chips and grapes, melon, chick peas and sweet corn.... it was awful. Staff seemed like they could not be bothered to clear away drinks, or plates, and we wondered why we had bothered... certainly wont again.

We have visited the Coastguard in Dover some four/five times over the last 10 months. They do not supply an itemised bill only a carbon copy of your food order, any drinks you have had are not shown. On the last occasion the copy showed £67, when I queried this, it was recalculated as £58, a brief apology was given. Mobile phone users be aware as the signal you receive is from France so if you make a call it goes out to there first then back to the UK.

Food was poor, steak burnt on one side after waiting a 75 minutes and then the replacement arrived 25 minutes later - we had got up to go and they insisted that we pay for it - we didn't but paid for the other food.

Goats cheese tartlet starter, nothing to shout about

Seafood starter - large helping but drowned in vinegar

Herring pate with pastis - very nice

Cheese board - a lack luster choice to be had from any supermarket. Disappointing.

Beer was slightly sour

White wine was an Italian blend and bar staff response to being asked was 'No I don't know what grape it is - next'

The Coastguard pub/restaurant in Dover is in a great location, overlooking the English Channel, with views of France on a clear day. However, I do wonder if this aspect makes the owners think they don't have to try too hard on their customer service skills, after all, it's always busy. The food is very good, if a bit pricey for what is essentially pub food, but my main gripe would be the staff. The last two times I have visited, they have been dismissive and not remotely apologetic that you've been waiting 45 minutes for your lunch. If the owners can have a word and sort out the staff attitude, I would definitely recommend this place.