They're Not Your Friends
Irene Zutell
Three Rivers (Crown) , 2005, $12.95
ISBN: 1400097584

Valley girl Charlotte "Lottie" Love promises her dying mother that she will never become an actress. To keep her death bed vow, but taste Tinseltown, Lottie becomes a correspondent reporting on the misbehavior of the stars for Personality magazine. Her boss assumes Lottie is a bimbo wannabe so she plans to prove to him that she is a serious entertainment reporter by obtaining an interview with media reticent rising star Chris Mercer.

She has two prime rivals. British journalistic has-been Lem Brac, who desperately misses the three martini lunch paid for by his "clients" hopes Mercer is his return ticket to the classy bars. The other adversary, the magazine brass' favorite son New Yorker Mike Posner, has reported numerous exclusives that he made up. As the trio struggles to be the feature gossip columnist, ethics is flushed down the commode.

The key characters are stereotypes coming out of gossip magazine casting 101 starring in a shallow plot that readers will love and laugh. The office wars are cleverly handled with zingers and dirty tricks yet an interesting code is adhered to especially by the three competitors. The cosmetic surgery reminds this reviewer of two mercenaries in Swamp Thing comparing injuries. In other words nothing is sacred in THEY'RE NOT YOUR FRIENDS as Irene Zutell lampoons the ooze at the bottom of the LaLa Land food chain.

Harriet Klausner