Van Helsing Reviews

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Van Helsing
★★☆☆☆
2.3
44.0% of users recommend this
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Summary

Hugh Jackman plays a vampire slayer.
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“When I first saw the trailers for this film I thought...”

★☆☆☆☆

written by rds1 on 15/03/2007

When I first saw the trailers for this film I thought Van Helsing looked brilliant. From the trailers it looked like there would be amazing special effects and action sequences. Unfortunately, Van Helsing is completely devoid of these two things, along with a plot that makes any sense.
Also, films like this, in my opinion, need a really unique looking main actor to make the film a success. Look at Keanu Reeves in The Matrix, Jason Statham in The Transporter, Daniel Craig in Bond, Bruce Willis in Die Hard, etc. I think this is a massive factor, and every time I saw Van Helsing (the character) I had to look twice to make sure it was him and not someone else, he is simply a bit bland looking and just doesn't stand out.
The plot didn't really make a lot of sense and it is clear that the director wanted to simply create a cinematic masterpiece with awesome fight scenes and views, but these things haven't happened. The special effects aren't very realistic (especially the werewolf), and the scenery is nothing special at all.
All in all, a very poor film which neither I, or anyone I know enjoyed.
One possible redeeming factor is that this film brings together loads of old myths, i.e., Dracula, werewolves, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and some more which I can't think of at the moment. All these mythical characters are woven into the plot. Unfortunately though, this just makes you more gutted that the film is rubbish because there was such massive potential to create an absolute classic. If you described the contents of this film to someone impartially, they would be extremely eager to watch Van Helsing, this film is therefore a waste of a really good story.

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“Van Helsing - When I first saw previews for this...”

★☆☆☆☆

written by rainbowmunky22 on 30/09/2004

Van Helsing - When I first saw previews for this movie, I just thought "Great, another unrealistic vampire movie". But after a while, I thought it might be interesting, and my sister and friend wanted to see it so we went. But, oh my god, the acting was horrible!! The Brides of Dracula were so terrible. So, all in all, I did not like the movie, basically because the acting was so unbelievable.

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“Van Helsing will strike fear into any sane...”

★★☆☆☆

written by MSpace on 30/07/2004

Van Helsing will strike fear into any sane movie-goer's heart. The movie is one incredible failure that should never have seen the inside of a cinema.

The premise is cheesey, but at least has potential for some light entertainment. The concept of bringing together a collection of famous, nay infamous, horror creatures for a piece of cheesey villainy could have been carried off so much better.

However, the complete lack of story-telling skill, the overwhelmingly tedious computer-generated effects, and the absence of any sense of threat from Dracula himself render the movie simply a waste of time.

Events happen that have no bearing on the remainder of the film, and action sequences are dragged out for what seems like hours. Plot threads are created, and then abandoned and ignored when they no longer suit the director's requirements. The entire end sequence is one example - a clearly expressed deadline is simply forgotten with no ill effects.

The only redeeming features of Van Helsing are the black and white intro sequence - cheesey and corny, but at least entertainingly so - and the sight of Kate Beckinsale in a fabulously sexy outfit.

For all the monsters Van Helsing has slain, the one he missed most was the one that should have died at birth -- this enormous, monstrous turkey of a movie.

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“Van Helsing is one of the worst films I have seen in a...”

★★☆☆☆

written by Harleycat on 02/06/2004

Van Helsing is one of the worst films I have seen in a long time. The trailers suggested it is a good movie but rarely have I wanted to leave the cinema. With bad acting from all parties and ludicrous scripts I would not recommend this to anyone. A waste of money and silly story lines.
Best actors were the one's who played the werewolves.

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Kevni's Response to Harleycat's Review

Written on: 03/07/2004

This film was an action /special effects-fest done in a comic strip film style. It never pretended to be anything else. If you don't like this type of film then why pay to watch it?

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“It is difficult to put words on how bad Van Helsing...”

☆☆☆☆☆

written by radrob on 06/05/2004

It is difficult to put words on how bad Van Helsing was. Even the jalepeno belly burn seemed a welcome distraction from the pure awfulness of this movie. Every cliche is used, acting is dreadful, please don't go and watch such **** at the cinema.

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