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★☆☆☆☆

“Overpriced Pepper Jelly”

Written on: 18/10/2015 by secretagentmole (16 reviews written)

Szechuan cuisine has a nice blend of heat and taste. You get chili, ginger, onion. This blends with the soy sauce to make a lovely sauce.

With Sharwoods Spicy Szechaun Stir Fry Melts, you get a wobbly lump. Putting this into the wok releases a vapour more commonly encountered by armed people resisting arrest. The flume of pepper spray that backfires out of the wok will leave you needing a respirator.Finally it will back off to an extent where you can actually finish cooking your meal.

Meanwhile your stir fry is carbonising as you endeavour in vain to make out the location of small things, like the cooker, the wall, the window, the door... You will eventually be able to see through the tears and stir the frying food.

At this point you should just save time and flush it down the toilet.

Eating it will prove virtually impossible to anybody who has been to a half decent Chinese restaurant.

All you can taste is pepper. Now pepper sauces are lovely on steak, but when you are trying to add to the wonderful, rich flavour of duck, simply swamping it in a ton of pepper is not going to do anything except ruin it. Any taste any vegetables had will now be left so far behind, the clock on the wall is 6 hours ahead of the flavour.

In short Sharwoods Spicy Szechaun Stir Fry Melts probably make short lived urinal blocks, but would be more recommended to that task than they are to any form of Szechaun cooking. Do not buy, under any circumstances unless you want to recreate the effect of a riot!

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