Chimney Pot Chaos

After a windy night my neighbour informed me my chimney pot was leaning and that I should ring my Insurer. I did so straight away hoping to get professional advice on how to deal with this serious turn of events. What followed however, can only be described as absolute chaos.

My Insurer apointed this northern loss adjusters who from the start made things as difficult as possible. Everytime I spoke to them I had to answer a series of riddles to prove I was not a soviet spy or imposter. Then there was the issue of the inspection. They refused to give me a time so I had to wait around all day to be graced with the surveyors prescence.

When the surveyor did turn up he just stood at the bottom of the garden with a pair of binoculars like a peeping tom. When he eventually came to the door he spat 'you cant claim for that, its bloody knackered'. He claimed that it was not the gale force winds I have suffered but the old enemy 'time' that had caused my pot to lean. Of course I protested but he just said I can read his report so I can understand. When I asked were it was? He laughed 'I have not written it yet.'

He walked away only stopping to take a photo of my chimney. I never heared from him or Imperial again.

I have cancelled my Insurance and will not be taken part in this racket again.