Really sorry that I have to say this ...... Nov '11

.... but the iphone hysteria is a kin to the emporer's clothes fairytale; so for those who are considering getting one of these super sexy chic pieces of kit listen up because they really are the most terrible awful horrific joke of a telephone.

I got my first iphone 4 in Sept 2010 ... I'm a business guy, a board level bloke. I needed decent email and phone and web access. I chose apple against blackberry because it was supposedly state of the art and the market leading product. Cost? Doesn't come into it really ... we have lots of phones an huge contract, wonderful support from our airtime provider, several account managers, invites to all sorts of things you dont want to go to etc etc etc!!!

The first one I had hung and lost calls ... bluetooth connections were a joke ... it wnt back after 8 weeks. must be said web accees and email was good although in Europe it was largely a joke thank in the main to 3G reception. Blackberry email is in a different league - but life is fully of compromises and if you get organised its do-able.

The second one lasted five months before it began dropping calls and hanging .... again the web and email access was pretty good. Bluettotth was laughable.

Both my vehicles (I'd changed in between thru choice not reliability) were BMW and I'd spoken to them about the connection issues ... iphone 3 was better apparently ... their tip was try HTC next time!!!

The third one is the one I have with me now and that I last week threw at the wall ... that seems to have sorted it for now (amazingly) ... it was either that or endure another trip to the apple shop - thanks guys, one slot left right in the middle of the day and a 90 min journey there and back ... great fun OR of course get my O2 chaps to replace it again and lose apps again again.

I laugh when people ooze over this device .. I laugh when they say the new one has a better camera .... and I laugh when O2 say 'don't you fancy an ipad?' .... F.F.S. it is called an iphone who wants a better camera - we need a phone first and foremost please. Honestly, if you can cope with the phone performance of a device from the mid nineties be my guest and sign up tomorrow. The web and email services are okay ... but not as comprehensive as a blackbery if youre a business guy.

Yes, I love its feel and I love its screen, I love its web access and the email I can can live with ... but as a telephone it is the most useless device that has been created this side of Y2K.

Solution .... I have a sony ericcson now (thank you O2) and use that ... it actually works.

So, my tip for all iphone wannabes is ... if you need a gadget and a phone then buy something like a Sony Ericcson and a decent swiss army knife - they will serve you much much better.

And with the £100+ saving go and take a pretty girl out for dinner.

Trust me this is all true ... I wish it wasn't ... And as for Apple .... the best company ever??? ..... surely I'm not the only one to ask where the Emporer's clothes have gone???????