written by reviewkitten on 19/12/2011
Gosh where do I start? Conan the Barbarian is a rebooted version of the novel by Robert E. Howard so is still telling the same story as the Schwarzenegger film. However this kicks off on the totally wrong foot. The young Conan is utterly unlikeable so no sympathy is built up for him. He just seems to hate his father and comes across as a spoilt kid. Conan watches as his village is massacred and his father killed setting him on a path for vengence. And nothing much happens. A good hour passed and it felt like a wasted hour of meaningless fighting with lots of blood that looked like red paint.. Add to this a love interest and a pretty rubbish mask (what was its amazing power btw? Seemed to do diddlysquat when it was used) plus several moments that felt like the screenwriters had stolen from Indiania Jones. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and The Mummy and there you have it. A film with a lead that you don't care about fighting off an evil that is not really explained that well. And the fight scenes are not even that well thought out with some really difficult to follow what is going on. They also randomly threw in some comedy moments too which seemed out of place, had they added more perhaps they would have worked. Not even that bad that it is good just simply a bore to watch.
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