S Club 7, 7 Reviews

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Good Points: erm...

Bad Points: Its the same song 13 times with slightly different lyrics

General comments: I always had an active dislike for S Club 7. In my opinion they're fake, manufactured, and talentless.

But my friend liked them and insisted on playing their album over and over again in her car. Her argument was that, if I listened to it I'd like it and it would grow on me.

Q: Did it grow on me? Did I love it lots?
A: No


This album pretty much proves that none of them can sing, and the lyrical content is enough to make you projectile vomit. So, here's what I think of each song.

1. Reach

Seriously, how happy can seven people be? Why do kids not see how fake they are? How many times do they expect us to reach the top/sky/stars/mountains and whatever else? This sounds like a seriously bad Eurovision entry, though personally give me Eurovision songs over this any day.

2. Natural
Why don't they climb on top of one of their mountains and just yell "we're ripping off Britney Spears" for the whole world to hear? This is probably the least bad song. Don't get me wrong, it's still terrible. It's just not quite as bad as the others. Plus somebody else actually gets to sing. Well, if sing is the right word...

3. I'll keep waiting

I wonder if they have to practice hard to be this monotonous. This features Bradley (wannabe gangsta rapper), erm... rapping - although I use the term loosely. It just goes on and on and on staying on the same 3 notes. It's probably fantastic if you're in need of an insomnia cure.

4. Bring the House Down

This is where I don't get the whole, needing seven of them. What's the point? I mean even when they're all meant to be singing the only one you can hear is the peroxide blonde one...her name escapes me. The lyrics are astounding! "The moon can't be that hard to reach". Go on then . It's boring, unoriginal, "heard it a million times before" teeny pop at its worst.

5. Best friend

My little brother gets TOTP magazine and in their review of this album they described this as R&B. Right. Whatever. It's about as R&B as Lolly. It's just the lad's whinging on about how we all need a best friend yada yada yada

6. All in Love is Fair

*yawns* Boring. The blonde one swaps from screeching to moaning and groaning. Ouch, my ears! It features the truly inspirational lyrics:

"Get it right, get it right, get it right, don't get it wrong". Urgh, get a clue!

7. Love Train

Cheesy 70s wannabe song about riding on a love train. Awe inspiring.


8. Cross My Heart

I am actually listening to the same song over and over again.


9. The Colour of Blue
This is like a country song. It's out of tune, off key and everything else bad imaginable. Only good thing . its quite short!!!


10. I'll be there
This is Tina's song. Funny how all she does is talk in it. Can't imagine why.


11. Stand by you
This is a duet of Hannah and Tina. It's pretty much the words "Stand by you" 10 million times. I remember seeing this on one of the very few occasions that I watched their silly TV show. They had this stupid jumpy dance to it; they looked like a right bunch of fools!!! Tina REALLY can't sing at all.


12. Spiritual Love
This sounds pretty much like all the other ballads they've ever done. Boring, corny and completely tuneless. Why does Bradley think he can rap? He really, really can't. You just have to cringe for them. How are they not embarrassed?!


13. Never Had A Dream Come True!
Did you see the video to this? Hannah and the camp blonde one look like twins! And what's with the womble feet? I heard this song described as "Stunning". That made me laugh - a lot! It's another boring, tuneless ballad that's made worse by the peroxide one moaning and groaning her way through it. Could she sound more out of tune?


So yeah...I pretty much think its used, pants. If you're thinking of buying it then PLEASE don't! The less people who buy their stuff, the quicker they'll stop plaguing us with the racket they laughingly call music