Ninja Dragon / The Ninja Squad Reviews

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Good Points: Usually found in the bargain DVD section of discount book shops
The opening scene of Ninja Dragon is absolutely hilarious - I cried

Bad Points: Absolutely no recognisable plot
Far too many guns for a true ninja film
Not enough 'Paul' (those who have seen it will know what I mean)
The dubbing is awful, although often hilarious too

General comments: Ninja Dragon is both terrible and terrific. The opening scene is by far the best, featuring a conglomerate of representatives from around the world (Boris from Russia, Pierre from France, that sort of thing) playing what appears to be poker with gold bars. They only have one game, the American takes all, and a street war ensues. It is the dialogue in this scene that makes it - loads of unnecessary swearing, shouting, bad dubbing, long pauses, terrible camera work, I mean seriously laughable stuff. I recommend buying this for that scene alone. The rest of the film is very hard to follow - it seems there are two plots, both of them awful and uninteresting. There is a bit of female nudity, but nothing special. Most of the fight scenes are with guns and are not so much brutal as brief. There is also a bit of bizarre 'magic' where ninjas disappear and reappear at will (check out the scene where the ninja runs along the wall - quite clearly this is the floor with the camera turned on it's side, I'm laughing now at the thought of it). There is one harrowing scene at the end, on the sister's wedding day, but that is all I'm going to say. Ignore the fact that I gave it 2 out of 10 and buy it - you will not have wasted £1.99