Academy, Port Talbot Review

Overall Rating

Big open space, and nice clear wood floors and tables. It must make major cash at weekends with drunk revellers, but promotes itself as a restaurant in the day time. Not!

Food, service. No wonder you can always get a table - the place is awful! More awful than anywhere else I've ever visited!

I called there for lunch yesterday - the Weatherspoons opposite was full and I didn't have much time - so I tried the Academy in Port Talbot instead.

I figured I'd go for the tortilla chips with cheese, guacamole, sour cream and salsa - quick, and hey you can't go wrong. Can you?

Trust me you can. After 20 minutes - 20 minutes! - a plate of nachos with guacamole and salsa arrived. I pointed this out to the manageress (suddenly the only member of staff on front of house - all 3 other staff had disappeared!) who returned in a few minutes with exactly the same plate, but this time covered in plastic "twirly" cheese, clearly from a packet, and it hadn't even melted!

Anyway, annoyed but in a rush, I decided to carry on. For £4 this was worse than lousy.

I then went to the bar to order a glass of wine. Considering the fact that the bar is around 40 metres in length, there was no-one serving. My cold food was remaining cold so I didn't mind. I thought a glass of wine might make up for my wasted journey.

Around 12 of us eventually were standing at this huge bar, but still no-one came.

Eventually the manageress appeared with two plates of burgers. She visited every table in the place and offered them... but NO-ONE had ordered them. She then went back to the "kitchen" and reappeared with one of the same plates (I assume now cold) and a chicken burger concoction, which again no-one wanted.

OK, so the place is having a bad day, I assume the "chef" has either walked out or not turned up, but they're still taking food orders - I also assume it's the untrained bar staff who were there when I arrived but had since disappeared - who were "cooking".

Eventually the manageress appeared without plated food (cold or otherwise) and walked towards the now gathering throng of would be customers (I'd given up on my plate of crisps - I just wanted a glass of wine!). I expected a "what can I get you?" but instead she shouted, yes SHOUTED "I'll be with you in a minute". Sadly I'd already handed over my money and couldn't see any point in staying longer. Refund? Service would have been fine.

The place needs a chef (hey it's only microwave / deep fry stuff anyway) and a manager.

I've never experienced anything like it.

It's called "Academy" - it has a lot to learn. Find a table at Weatherspoons instead.