Porto Colom, Hotel Belsana Review

Overall Rating

Porto Colom is beautiful, beach is lovely. Food not as bad as some reviews.

Hotel is pretty poor, hotel rooms awful, dirty, too small. Pools too small, dirty and not enough facilities eg sunbeds etc.

Well, where do I start... we have just returned from 2 weeks at the Belsana, so this review could take some time. So, from the beginning, our transfer from the airport to the hotel was actually pretty good, we had booked with the resorthopper but our flight was delayed so us (me, hubby, son, and daughter) and another family that we met on the way and happened to be going to the same place were taken by the hopper rep to taxis', therefore our transfer time was only 35 mins and pretty comfortable (rather than the 2 hours in a coach on the way back to the airport). We arrived at the hotel at about 1.30ish am and booked in quickly and politely (although the guy on reception was a little hard to hear due to the noise coming from a group of drunken teens who had arrived at the same time and were on the computers in the lobby.) thank goodness I took my ear plugs as this noise carried along the corridors every night, along with the noise from the kids outside the hotel entrance (see below!!) We were given our key (room 111) and went up to our 'room'.
The first thing that hit us on opening our door was the damp, fusty smell...this was promptly followed by surprise at the size of it...tiny. In one room we had a (broken) camp bed which was squashed up to two single beds which in turn were squashed up to the wall, at the end of these beds was a 'sofa' with a sheet and pillow on. We then opened the balcony doors to be met by such a wonderful view (hint of sarcasm here!). We were overlooking the street below and directly above the hotel entrance, the only thing we could actually see was a derelict bar and some rather scabby looking apartments opposite us. Continuing the tour of the room we went into the bathroom, which although small contained everything you need...including a lovely louvre window that opened onto the next door rooms balcony, not only giving us a distinct lack of privacy but also making our room rather insecure as they slotted straight out leaving a gaping hole in the wall (the least of our security problems as it turns out because our bedroom door didn't require a key just a gentle push and it opened). Well, as it was late we decided to get into bed and sort any problems out in the morning. Unfortunately we soon discovered that most families in the hotel part were in the same boat, some had even been promised apartment rooms by the travel companies but were told that it was at the managers discretion as to who got them and it would cost 500 euros a week to be changed...needless to say we decided that complaining was probably not worth the stress after all we were on holiday, best to make the most of a bad job so to speak!!
Anyway, other than the room our first impressions weren't too bad, the pool looked ok, our daughter was enjoying the entertainers and the food was better than some of the reviews I had read, however, all this changed after the first week. Firstly the entertainers left on the first Sunday (not sure of the real reasons why as we heard many different accounts) and were replaced on the Tuesday by two women, well these two were the complete opposites of the original two, suddenly all of the fun went out of the place. Although one of them tried hard with the kids club, the others condescending manner and obvious dislike of children made us not want to be in the hotel during the evenings for the 'entertainment', but with absolutely nowhere else to go in Porto Colom other than Ollies bar (which btw has been taken over and is dire and very expensive) or the beez neez (which needs a health warning slapped on it) we were a bit short of alternatives...luckily we met a fab family the second week who made it all a bit more bearable. Anyway back to the entertainment, some of it was ok...the quiz was good and erm....I must mention to all the parents to beware of the reptile show, parrot show, bird of prey show and karaoke as these all seem to be a nifty way of getting a few quid out of you...the animal shows that I mentioned are run for approx 15-20 mins by the same people on different nights, after the shows kids are given the opportunity to have photos taken with the animal in question for 10 euros each, do the sums...3 shows, 10 euros per child per show...quite a nice little sideline. The karaoke couple also have a nice little earner going on selling dvds of your little darlings singing for 15 euros each (needless to say week 2 we went out for a walk during these shows!)
Oh yes, watch out for the deaf 'beggar' man who comes round some evenings trying to sell you some 'junk', he puts these on your table along with a nice little begging pamphlet, we found it best not to touch them at all rather than have to explain that you don't want them if you do pick them up.
I must also comment on the cleanliness (or rather the lack of it) in the hotel. The pool area after the first week was truly filthy, cigarette ends everywhere, spilt drinks, empty cups it was really dirty, also on one day my husband was swimming in the deep end of the pool when he noticed two wine glasses from the dining room at the bottom, one he pulled out but the other was smashed, he told someone who just tutted about filthy people and went back into the hotel. On the Sunday before we left whilst we were at the pool early one morning a couple came over and told us not to go into the pool shower as there was a pile of excrement in there, the gentleman reported it to reception, unfortunately no-one did anything about it until the next day...not very pleasant...nor were the two days when human excrement was seen in the baby end of the pool either, parents please use swimmer pants!!!! Also the extent of the filth at the poolside bar mixed with water makes that side of the pool treacherously slimy and slippery, my daughter slipped and knocked her tooth out and cut her lip and she wasn't alone, kids were going over continually. (Btw must mention the indoor pool that was never open and we didn't actually get to see until our last day when we booked a 'courtesy' room and were given a key and told to use the showers in the indoor pool..once in there we could see why it was never open, broken showers, tiles off walls and general filth yet again! Oh, and the corridor to it had flooded through the roof that morning after it had rained!
Our room was also not cleaned properly and sometimes not at all so that we had to ask at reception to have it done, some days we had no towels, others no toilet roll and when the room was cleaned it appears that the maid simply brushes everything under the beds. On our second day the toilet seat broke off and it took three days and more trips to reception before it was fixed. The amazing scenic balcony btw was never cleaned in two weeks prompting my husband to wash it down with water himself.
Oh, whilst I am covering cleanliness, parents beware about letting your children play around outside the hotel near the fence at the cliffside as this is where all the locals walk their dogs and it would appear that poop scoops have yet to make their way to Porto Colom, although one man with a black cocker spaniel does pick up rocks and put them on top of the plop, shame that later on in the evenings kids pick the rocks up and play with them!!
The dining room was probably one of the only places (with the exception of the bar and reception) that was clean, and the food was ok too. Yes, it did get repetitive after 2 weeks but it was always good and the dining room staff are friendly too, the waiter even let my husband bring me some food up to the room when I couldn't see due to an eye infection. Whilst I mention staff I must praise Anne, so nice to talk to her and she was always helpful and so busy, she has to put up with so much noise and aggro (there was a nasty incident of domestic violence in the bar while we were there, that continued after most people had gone to bed.) She deserves a medal, the amount of unruly and unsupervised kids that hang round the bar/pool table area would be enough to drive me crazy night after night and she has to put up with them, as well as the parents whose sole intention is to pour as much alcohol as possible down their necks because it's 'free'.
I must give a quick mention to the beach at Cala Marcal, breathtakingly beautiful but far too overcrowded unless you want to hire sunbeds which I would recommend as they are only 11 euros for the day for 2 beds and parasol and it saves you being trampled nearer to the water! (just don't try to hire 3 beds and one parasol like our friends did as the man will threaten to call the police!!!)

Well, that's just about everything that needs mentioning, reading this you would think we hated it, we didn't, we had a good time by adopting the mentality that we should make the most of it and because we met some really nice people both weeks. I think in all honesty that one week at the Belsana is plenty, two weeks is too long. The main problem with the place (apart from some of the people who frequent it and give the English a bad name) is that the hotel is simply not designed to cope with the volume of people that it is housing along with the amount of people from the apartments. There is not enough room in the dining room, bedrooms, bar, patio area, pool area, not enough seating anywhere, not enough sun beds or parasols (spend 7 euros on one from the shop is well worth it to save queuing at 8.30 on the pool stairs), not enough entertainment for the children or adults and far from enough to do in the beautiful Porto Colom.