Old Age Jokes Review

Overall Rating

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"
_________________________________

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

_______________________________
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
_____________________________________________ _____________
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

________________________________

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour.
But by the time I got my leotard on the class was over.
_______________________________

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.

"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week."

__________________________________________________ __________

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
________________________________

Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
_______________________________

It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

______________________________

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

____________________________

Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.

________________________________

--- THE SENILITY PRAYER :

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

_____________________________________________ _________________

Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!

__________________________________________________ ______

Members' Comments onpnadin's Review

• Helen of Troy on 12th Feb 2007

  Excellent! What more can I say! :-)