Written on: 15/06/2009
Last night our party of three darkened the door of the Armless Dragon.
We were greeted with grimaces by two waitresses, and directed to a table, set in the sort of decor that could best be described as well used, and at worst, cruelly laid to waste by the ravages of time.
In no time at all, three bowls of complimentary leek and potato soup were plonked down on the table, allowing us to whet our palates with a broth which could only have been born in a can and ended its life brutally executed in a microwave.
At this point, I was thinking we should leave. I don't think I was the only one.
Wine was ordered, and without ceremony our bottle of 1er cru Chablis was torn open, and sloshed into cheap glasses (the ones from your local bowls club with the imperial measurements) with little attention.
With prices like these, surely they could invest in some decent glasses.
My starter was the Perl Las & Pear Tart with Toasted Walnut.
An item which could have had some potential had it not apparently been accidentally toasted upside down, with the result that the base was as solid as granite and the contents on top pale and drawn.
My companions both had the Cawl, which we suspected consisted of water flavoured with more water. Gulag quality stuff.
The vacuous middle-of-the-road music burbling out of the stereo system did nothing at this point to add to the restaurant's charm.
Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more...
Two plates of Woodland Mushroom Ravioli, and one Mountain Lamb Rump with Smoked Potato.
I won't go into any great detail about these delicasies as words fail me.
Well, all except one. Tesco.
We declined the offer of dessert, added £10 gratuity (God only knows why) and exited £105 lighter than we did one hour earlier.
I wish I could be less harsh, but the fact that the Armless Dragon offered us so very little for so much singles it out for particular criticism.
I suggest a change of name - The Charmless Dragon.