Written on: 09/08/2005 by meghangrove (6 reviews written)
Its eventually stops
She screams almost the entire way through it It goes on for about 15 years
Ok, so Stripped is pretty much just a painfully long episode of Stars in their Eyes. It's full of stupid little "interludes" - why?! - which just whinge on and on about how "different" and "grown up" she is and how she's "broken the mould".
Right... so why is the album just a magnum opus of rip offs? She tries to be cool (unsuccessfully) by getting people such as Lil Kim and Redman to guest in a couple of the songs and begs to be taken seriously with giant self pity fests like "Beautiful".
Can't Hold Us Down
This is just her attempt at a comeback to Eminem. Now I can't stand him either but - get over it. It was like 15 million years ago. Nobody actually cares anymore. It's an inanely driveling rant about how it's so unfair that she's been labeled the way she has. You'll find the lyrics in the sleeve - on the page opposite all the naked photographs.
And tonight Matthew I'm going to be... Alicia Keys. It sees our girl weeping, wailing and screaming about how she needs to get away from some guy. The lyrics are just great though. "Your love was like candy, artificially sweet, I was deceived by the wrapping". Very inspiring.
Now this one is just hilarious. It sounds like it should be on Micheal Jackson's "Bad" album. Its a "woohoo go me, I'm really great" song which sees her yelling and screaming the entire way through. So if you have the great misfortune to listen to this then be advised turn the volume down at this point. And be told already, she's a fighter. She ain't gonna stop. And believe me, she doesn't.
Ah, here we all take the wonderfully fun and exciting journey back to Christina's "roots". It's actually one of the least heinous songs on the album and for a change she doesn't scream her way through it.
Loving Me For Me
To be honest I didn't really listen to this one. I started to but then thought I should probably at least try and stay awake for the rest of the album. It's a cross between Mariah and early Janet Jackson.
Here we go all Alicia Keys again but even more boring than before. Can we not have something happy? Please?
*Yawns* I'm sorry but "grown up" Christina really needs to find the fun. This is just dirge. Poor her, she's feeling - go on guess? yup, underappreciated by her bloke and lucky us get to hear all about it. It's very exciting.
Can I just say I'm completely bored already. How long does she want her album to be? 10 years?
This one is just a giant helping of self pity mixed with some wailing and a bit of screaming thrown in just to remind you that she can well, scream that high.
Make Me Over
Okay, what is this? Not content with repeatedly ripping of Alicia Keys etc? Chrissy has now decided that she's going to be Courtney Love and rip off the Sugababes "Overload" at the same time. I think this is possibly the worst song on the album. Basically just an excuse to show how grown up and hard core she is by swearing and yelling a lot.
Yeah I think its meant to be "Cruise" but you know all street like, cos our Chrissy's straight off them of course.
It sounds like something Micheal Bolton or Elton John would sing though.
This is one of those "come on everybody you can be great like me too" songs that S Club7 are so fond of. There's irony in there with Christina telling everyone to be themselves on an album that is anything but original sounding. There 's a bit towards the end where she actually just screams. Why? We don't need to hear that. Really.
Get Mine Get Yours
Ok, so before she's all "ooh I'm not bad, that's mean" and now she's singing the praises of casual sex. Erm? confused much?! This song is what you imagine when you think of Christina. She's just asking her guy for no commitment, just sex. She wants him to "work her like a 9 to 5". Anybody else getting some unwanted imagery with this?!
Well unless you've been living on Mars for the last few months you will have heard this one. We had to put up with her on TOTP for 2 weeks running. Miming I might add for all you "she always sings live she's so talented" ones out there. I must admit that it's irritatingly catchy and alas is one of those songs that gets in your head and just wont go away. Its cheap and trashy hence why it and Chrissy go so well together.
The Voice Within
This song is just... blah. Its extremely dull and quite frankly I couldn't be bothered listening to it after like the first 7 minutes.
Ok firstly, I swear I've listened to this at least 5 times already. And secondly, how is making money from private family problems a good thing? I think we're all supposed to go "awww poor chrissy?". If it's that traumatic you wouldn't wanna share it with the world would you? Idiot.
Keep On Singin My Song
...5 years and 3 months later we actually get to the last song. Thank god for that. Its kinda gospel and really doesn't have a tune. I sat there waiting for something even remotely catchy and it never came. And I sat there for a long time. This song is like an hour long.
It's the sign of a bad album when the silence after it FINALLY stops is the best thing you've heard in the last hour and a half. It's too long, too boring and involves way too much screaming. Take some advice love, tone it down and liven it up before all your fans are either deaf or comatose.