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★★☆☆☆

“Everything Wrong with Games Today”

Written on: 21/11/2012 by Yogurt (1 review written)

In the old days duke nukem was a crass, brazen ball of testosteroids (portmanteaus for victory). He got all the guns and destroyed all the bad guys in all the ways we wish we could.

Duke nukem forever is a collection of all the worst things about modern shooters, simplified to the extreme. The three different chapters font mesh well together at all, vehicle levels have been slapped into it because don't all games have vehicle levels now days? You can only hold two guns because more would be complicated (or hard to choose between for the console kids). All this could be forgivable (after all a generic shooter is still average) if it contained duke nukem, but instead it felt like horrible fan fiction about the character, a pathetic parody of himself consisting of only badly done references to movies, references to himself and references to other games I would rather be playing.