Rip off

Show started at 7.30 but no Chubby. A blonde middle aged rock chick appeared on stage, who was in fact a good singer but obviously had never made the Big Time, and as my mind wandered reminded me of someone in the working mens karaoke clubs of Blackpool. I was imagining her between gigs, waiting for the phone to ring, sitting at home without her extensions,with a bunch of grandchildren running around, in a Gavin and Stacey terrace somewhere in Yorkshire. I suppose she looked quite young if one was sitting at the back, but when the jacket came off,the bingo wings were out. She tried her best though bless her. So she was on for 30 minutes. And still no Chubby. The safety curtain came down and there was a 20 minute break. I started to feel we were being slightly ripped off. Then at 8.20 a larger than life (much larger, of which later) Very Chubby appeared. Maybe I am getting old and grumpy but the so called jokes were disgusting ( I know, I was warned), and he really seemed to be struggling. He forgot his lines and his voice faded towards the end. Thank goodness he was only on for an hour. If there had been a second half we wouldn't have been there. A lot of jokes fell flat in front of a Wimbledon audience. What was the point of the dummy? It did nothing, wasn't even funny. And the strip at the end, showing almost everything in obese form, well he is completely revolting. Never again.. OK in the eighties, not for 2016. The fact that the auditorium was half empty said it all.